A local friend of mine who lives here mentioned how common it is for men to have “other women” besides their wives, especially when they travel for work, etc. These other women are typically foreigners with a different background than the locals. Of course I was shocked on many different levels. But I was mostly unprepared for the reality that male infidelity could be so common particularly in this part of the world. Simply because this is within a part of the world where female fidelity is taken with the utmost seriousness. So what gives? Why is the same act on one side of the gender line a betrayal and dishonor of the highest order, while on the other side it has so little consequence? It was a difficult question to wrap my mind around until I read this article...
Kyle Harper writes that much of the ancient world thought with the same type of categories. In a 2011 JBL article he examines the development and usage of the Greek word “moicheia” meaning adultery. For the Greeks (and almost all ancient cultures) adultery did not mean simply having extra-marital relations. Its meaning was fundamentally about the “violation of a respectable woman.” And in fact, sleeping with another man's wife was actually construed to be “a crime against another man.” A crime either against the husband of a respectable woman, or if unmarried a crime against her father (or brothers). When this is the fundamental understanding of adultery in honor-based cultures, it becomes clearer why there are different ways of thinking about it for men and women. If a husband in ancient Greece were to have extra-marital sex with his female slave for instance, it is not actually considered adultery. The same was true for prostitution. In fact, P. Leithart summarizing Harper says that in ancient Greece “prostitution was not merely tolerated but seen to fulfill a social good. It allowed men to satisfy their sexual desires without violating honorable women, that is, without the danger of rivalry with another man.”
Harper goes on to argue that in the ancient world the Jews (particularly their prophets) were the first to reconstruct an understanding of adultery that ran across gender lines. Such that by the second-temple era (and on into the New Testament period) the gulf between the sexual ethics of the Jews and their gentile neighbors was notoriously vast.
It dawned on me that the contrast I noticed here was more nuanced than just a simple double standard. There were new definitions and different categories being used than I was working with. Protecting the honor of respectable women was held with the utmost esteem. And it brings into focus the ethics that come with the shame and violation of such honor. This explains the rigidity of their standards from this angle. But at the same time this understanding theoretically leaves open the question of extra-marital affairs by men that don't affect “respectable” women. And at least in the observations of my friend here, they are not just “theoretical.”
Kyle Harper writes that much of the ancient world thought with the same type of categories. In a 2011 JBL article he examines the development and usage of the Greek word “moicheia” meaning adultery. For the Greeks (and almost all ancient cultures) adultery did not mean simply having extra-marital relations. Its meaning was fundamentally about the “violation of a respectable woman.” And in fact, sleeping with another man's wife was actually construed to be “a crime against another man.” A crime either against the husband of a respectable woman, or if unmarried a crime against her father (or brothers). When this is the fundamental understanding of adultery in honor-based cultures, it becomes clearer why there are different ways of thinking about it for men and women. If a husband in ancient Greece were to have extra-marital sex with his female slave for instance, it is not actually considered adultery. The same was true for prostitution. In fact, P. Leithart summarizing Harper says that in ancient Greece “prostitution was not merely tolerated but seen to fulfill a social good. It allowed men to satisfy their sexual desires without violating honorable women, that is, without the danger of rivalry with another man.”
Harper goes on to argue that in the ancient world the Jews (particularly their prophets) were the first to reconstruct an understanding of adultery that ran across gender lines. Such that by the second-temple era (and on into the New Testament period) the gulf between the sexual ethics of the Jews and their gentile neighbors was notoriously vast.
It dawned on me that the contrast I noticed here was more nuanced than just a simple double standard. There were new definitions and different categories being used than I was working with. Protecting the honor of respectable women was held with the utmost esteem. And it brings into focus the ethics that come with the shame and violation of such honor. This explains the rigidity of their standards from this angle. But at the same time this understanding theoretically leaves open the question of extra-marital affairs by men that don't affect “respectable” women. And at least in the observations of my friend here, they are not just “theoretical.”
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